Sherlock and John Texts
by Damn-The-Jam
Summary: So these are real texts that me and a friend sent each other in the roles of Sherlock and John. I'm John, she's Sherlock. I'm posting these for entertainment value and for fun - so it's not serious. MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR REICHENBACH!


_20 Apr 22:41_

Stay up a little longer? I promise not to talk about it.

S.H

_20 Apr 22:42_

I really can't. I have horse riding in the morning – JWW

_20 Apr 22:43_

You can sleep on the horse for all I care.

S.H

_20 Apr 22:24_

And that's as modest as you get. – JWW

_20 Apr 22:45_

Don't complain. It's not like the horse will care. The most it will do is kill you. Don't be a wuss.

S.H

_21 Apr 08:50_

Morning John. Pleasant day, isn't it?

S.H

_21 Apr 08:52_

I thought you hated idle talk of the weather. – JWW

_21 Apr 08:56_

I was bored. Get over yourself, you know NOTHING about me! ;)

S.H

_21 Apr 16:38_

Can I come round? :) Not that I enjoy your presence

S.H

_21 Apr 16:40_

Aha, of course you don't like my company…

And I'm not free, no. – JWW

* * *

_23 Apr 20:14_

I'm sorry, but the least you could do is make me a cup of tea… Have fun peeing.

S.H

_23 Apr 20:17_

Alright – I'll make tea! Happy now? And… Thanks? Now let's not get into idle talk about peeing; and I don't care how bored you are! – JWW

_23 Apr 20:21_

Well there goes my plans for a new life.

S.H

_23 Apr 20:24_

Have you not got a case to entertain yourself with? If not, I am NOT playing cluedo. - JWW

_23 Apr 20:30_

You're my entertainment – I laugh at you, mock you, and laugh at you again. How much better could you get. YOU PROMISED ME YOU'D PLAY CLUEDO! D:

I'm ashamed of you.

S.H

_23 Apr 20:34_

And there goes my final hopes of you being human. I NEVER DID SUCH A THING! It is not actually possible for the victim to have done it! – JWW

_23 Apr 20:40_

You have the most pathetic hopes. If you want me to be human then, as you're more 'mature' than me, you should turn human first. I guess my hopes are as pathetic as yours. AND WHEN I SAY YOU PROMISED, YOU BLOODY PROMISED!

Penguin.

S.H

_23 Apr 20:43_

So long as I never reside in Moriarty as a means of entertainment… You really 'fell' into his web there, didn't you? And you don't even know half of my hopes! – JWW

_23 Apr 20:45_

-_- Not amused. Stop trying to be smart, you'll hurt yourself. Leave it to the professionals. We wouldn't want you dying.

Copycat.

S.H

_23 Apr 20:47_

I'm not being smart. As for dying… Let's not even go there! You've done enough of that in your time – fair play? – JWW

_23 Apr 20:49_

Don't talk to me about fair play! Where's the fun in being fair? Moriarty wasn't fair, I wasn't fair, and we both ended up dying. That's not fair! :(

S.H

_23 Apr 20:54_

Do you know what else is not fair? You yelling at me with sympathy pleas. For three years, Sherlock, three bloody years, I thought you were dead! So don't give me that crap! /jawnrageface/ - JWW

_23 Apr 20:56_

Stop flattering yourself. This convo is about me.

S.H

_23 Apr 20:59_

Evidently. You're always so vain. BTW your tea is ready :) – JWW

_23 Apr 21:00_

Ooh nom nom nom.

WHERE'S THE BICSUITS? :(

S.H

_23 Apr 21:01_

Oh I forgot to buy them. I could ask Mrs Hudson to get them? (we both know she really is our housekeeper) – JWW

_23 Apr 21:03_

Heh heh, but we shouldn't mistreat her… Yeah, let's make her get them. Maybe we will give her one for charity?

S.H

_23 Apr 21:06_

Yes; I'll go ask her now, or, moreover, go tell her to get the biscuits. That's if we can spare one. I'm feeling awfully peckish! - JWW

_23 Apr 21:14_

Is the tea making you slightly giddy now? Mrs Hudson has returned and I'm tempted to eat all the biscuits – for your own sake, of course. – JWW

_23 Apr 21:17_

OH. I bet she's eaten them all. That pig. We'll have to go get them ourselves. But ah, I'm dead. Too bad, you go get them.

S.H

_23 Apr 21:19_

Umm… Sherlock? Why is Moriarty here feasting on our biscuits? And you're wrong – Mrs Hudson hasn't even eaten one. Nor have I, for that matter… - JWW

_23 Apr 21:21_

Oh I told him he could share.

Sorry.

S.H

_23 Apr 21:25_

Why the hell would you do that? Sherlock… SHERLOCK HE IS SPELLING WITH THE BISCUITS! What kind of an idiot would do that? – JWW

_23 Apr 21:29_

Hey! That's my new best enemy you're talking about! :(

S.H

_23 Apr 21:33_

Who cares how you rank him… HE'S A LUNATIC! Ohgreat. Now he has found our alphabeti spheghetti! Gosh Sherlock, come quick – he's started to spell on Mrs Hudson! – JWW

_23 Apr 21:38_

Alright I'm coming. Wait, Hudson will have a heart attack if I come back!

S.H

_23 Apr 21:42_

Oh crap. I forgot about your little 'secret'. What do I do? He's written 'Got Sherlock' on her. Tempted to punch him. Wait, didn't he shoot himself on Bart's? – JWW

_23 Apr 21:44_

I know, he's one confusing guy. But don't punch him, it'll ruin his good looks.

S.H


End file.
